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i see the sun, and if i don't see the sun, i know it's there. and there's a whole life in that, in knowing that the sun is there i finished the brothers karamazov a week ago and have not moved on yet. i think my depression got worse because ive been waking up later than usual and not gone outside in a while. i wanted to go for a stroll today but wasnt brave enough. i ordered a book from the shop so around next week i will be forced to go and pick it up which is good. i love melancholic japanese writers