Too scared to feel, too broken to trust. How can you know it's maturity and not just lust? There's something on my lips that dies at the last moment. I feel it pouring out of my heart. I feel it choking in my throat but it just shivers on my lips, and I fall silent. I can't just let it out. Not even in loneliness, not even to myself. It's like some weight on my chest, i feel its heaviness when i think about it. But i can't make sense out of it. What kind of things that I don't know but can feel? What kind of pain is this that makes me numb but I don't know its wound? I am searching for my answers, I am searching for my peace...but until I find out, i have to hide. I need to hide in my smile...